Flashback: December 1999. The dreaded "Y2K" was only days away, and the future was unknown. The whole fear initiated around the fact that computers were not programmed to switch to year "00," but that fear evolved into a potential Armageddon- blackouts, stock market crashes, and overall chaos. But, as we know, January 1, 2000 came and went, and the world, despite everyone's worst fears, continued to spin.
Flash forward: Y2GAY! Sounds ridiculous, right? About as ridiculous as Y2K was as soon as the clock stroked 12 on January 1, 2000. Although this video is clearly poking fun at some people's irrational fear of gay people and gay rights, this fear is as real to some as the fear of Y2K was. Looking back now, we know our fears of the 21st century were completely irrational and absurd, so when will people realize their prejudices and fears towards gay people are equally absurd?
After our class session on Gender & Sexual Orientation, I decided to call my good friend, Daniel, who is gay. When I called him and told him about the class he asked, "So, you wanna play 'ask a gay'?" Essentially, yes, I did.
We had a long conversation ranging from gay rights, marriage, politics, social action and so on. This is just a very brief recap of the highlights.
I started out by asking a very open-ended question: "What do you think about being gay?" Daniel responded, " I guess it can be boiled down to who you’re attracted to. And for some people that’s all it is. For other people, they take on other political/social attributes. But, no, it can’t be boiled down to one thing because it’s different for everyone. It’s not a choice whether you are or aren’t, but once you make the choice to be honest about it you become more…you. You can live up to your personal best."
I asked him when he knew he was gay. He explained, " It was kind of like the perfect storm I guess. My [college] roommate moved out, so I was living by myself for the first time. It was getting to be a stress because I was worried people would find out. Didn’t know how they would, but I was sure they would. I lived by myself, so I could do whatever the I wanted to for the first time, which was a good thing, but I realized that if I didn't start talking about it myself, then other people will start talking about it and make it a bigger deal. That way I could control the way the situation turned out. I realized my friends would be okay with it. Then I met someone in basically the same situation. I made the decision at that point that I didn’t care. I stopped caring about it...I feel like I’m a better person after I came out. It helps you live a more honest life because there’s a whole side of you you don’t have to keep a secret. It changes the way you approach people, and deal with people in general. I stopped caring, If people have a big problem with me because I’m gay, I won't surround myself with those people. "
Our conversation eventually shifted to education, and how the issue should be addressed in schools. Daniel suggested, "First of all, a better way of doing sex ed in school. People get confused between the differences between power of knowledge versus someone’s moral concerns. Knowledge is power. Period. You don’t have to discuss what gay people 'do', but they need to know they’re not alone. They need to know they will be able to gain personal acceptance."
So what role does the teacher play? How should we, as educators, address sexual orientation? Daniel brought up a good point, "Teachers, despite their personal views on gay rights/marriage/etc, need to focus on the success of the student as an individual." I think that's something we need to constantly remind ourselves of. It doesn't matter if the student is gay, straight, black, white, Christian, Muslim, poor, rich, or otherwise. What matters is that the student is in my classroom and it is my job to make sure I'm doing everything I can to help him/her be successful.
So should gay people be allowed to be teachers? Daniel and I agree, yes. A teacher's sexual orientation does not affect his/her ability to be a good teacher. Plus, gay students need role models, too. As Daniel explained, "Teachers have the power to prevent a student from harming himself because of feeling all alone. It helps if they can see a gay person doing something good in the community. The more people that come out, the more the stereotype is broken. They live next door to you, they’re in your family, whether you know it or not. When people come it, it’s always to a good end." And as far as teachers being concerned about students being negatively influenced by gay teachers, Harvey Milk stated it perfectly: "If it were true that children emulate their teachers, we'd have a lot more nuns running around."
And should they be allowed to be parents? Again, a resounding yes. Daniel expanded on the point: "The religious right will site studies that a female/male marriage is the best situation for raising a child. But these groups have their own agenda. More scientific studies, with no agenda, show that the idea of two loving parents that give their child support, as a family unit, is what is important. Not male/female. A stable family unit that the community is allowed to legally support. Not just heterosexual married couples."
Daniel is a very kind, accepting, open-minded person who can get along with almost anyone. When we talked about more close-minded people with outright prejudice towards gay people, and who are strongly against gay rights, Daniel explained, "If they hold personal viewpoints and opinions that don’t fight for equality for everyone, then eventually they’ll find themselves having to explain their opinion to a family member as to why that person don’t deserve the same rights as they do. They’ll eventually find themselves on the wrong side of history. I feel sorry for them, their numbers are going down, they’ll end up in a more lonely situation. At this point, it’s not ignorance. There are plenty of openly gay people out there. It’s willfull ignorance and I feel sorry for them. What if they have a gay child? What will they say? "You don’t deserve the same rights as me'? That could be their future and that’s sad."
I agree, it is sad. As teachers we need to create environments that accept all students for who they are, despite their individual differences. We need to make them feel welcome and comfortable so they can have a safe place to be themselves and learn. Isn't that our job after all?
*Major thanks to Daniel for his knowledge and insight. I'm lucky to have such a great friend.
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